Neither Great Nor Terrible...Thus Far

Currently I'm reading A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray. Whereas it's relatively interesting, I'm 100 pages in and it's not thrilling me. Perhaps that will change, but I don't have very high hopes for Bray's language. It's not that it's poorly written; it's grammatically correct but littered with the most perfunctory adjectives. There's something painfully bland about describing a garden as "a wonderful garden," when one could call it a lush garden, a well-tended garden, an overgrown garden, or a jasmine-scented garden. It feels like Bray wants to be elegant with her language but is trying too hard and not succeeding. The result is both melodramatic and trite. Now, her novel is supposed to be a takeoff on the cheap gothic novels of the Victorian setting she is using, so perhaps it's a clever nod to that affected style of writing. I'm not convinced.

Bray's descriptions of the magical visions or occurrences in the story feel too vague and metaphysical to me, and several times I've had to reread passages where the events depicted weren't concrete enough to hold my interest. Thus far the narrative has also reminded me strongly of the movies Mean Girls and Dead Poets Society, if you can imagine such a combination, but set in Victorian England with magical bits. Now, I'll be the first to admit that I am a sucker for: 1. A high school movie featuring an outsider and a bunch of mean kids; 2. A movie where The Man gets it stuck to him; and 3. A movie with literature enthusiasts (even if it involves the tiresome Whitman and Thoreau). Oh, and I'm forgetting the cute boys in their matching wool coats and sweater vests. Alas, Bray's novel doesn't have enough strapping young lads in sweater vests to make up for her banality.

This is all loosely related to my current dismay towards the way in which we underuse our vocabularies. The English language is rich, and it honestly is a joy to learn new words and use them. People, I beg you to stop using the words awesome and blessed, especially if you use them three times in one paragraph. Instead, try using the word hackneyed in a sentence (if you're not familiar with this word, look it up. I'm taunting you, and you need to be aware of that). Go back, reread what you've written, and substitute some fresh and rousing adjectives! Let's all go out and buy nice new thesauri and do credit to our educations.

Recommended: If you want a great satire of the gothic novel, read Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey. If you want one of the best gothic novels (and possibly best novels) ever written, then it's Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre for you.

A Blurb about Reading

Last night Ickie read me a lovely quote from the book he is currently reading, Octavian Nothing by M.T. Anderson. I'm planning to read it as soon as he's done with it. Ickie explained that Octavian is a slave who lives with a lot of freaky philosophers and has been forbidden to read anything apart from obscure, practically meaningless fragments in Greek and Latin. Imagine the horror!

"I missed my studies with Dr. Trefusis inveterately; for reading, once begun, quickly becomes home and circle and court and family; and indeed, without narrative, I felt exiled from my own country. By the transport of book, that which is most foreign becomes one's familiar walks and avenues; while that which is most familiar is removed to delightful strangeness; and unmoving, one travels infinite causeways; immobile and thus unfettered."

Self-Proclaimed Member of the Drones Club

Several years ago Ickie and I discovered the works of P.G. Wodehouse. He wrote nearly one hundred comedies about members of the British upper class who, in their excessive leisure time, devise ludicrous schemes. His most well-known stories are about the daft but likable Bertie Wooster and his eminently capable butler Jeeves (Hugh Laurie and Steven Fry are excellent in the BBC series based on them). I love the stories featuring Uncle Fred (from whom Ickie lifted his web moniker), the crafty Earl of Ickenham who is always getting in and out of trouble with his uncanny ability to lie. My favorite novels by Wodehouse are his early works, which he wrote mainly in the teens and 20s (e.g., Piccadilly Jim, A Damsel in Distress, Something Fresh, Hot Water).

Although Wodehouse's novels often follow a similar formula, they always seem fresh. It’s easy to be swept away by the plot and the laughs and miss Wodehouse’s gift for language. There are apparent jokes—zany schemes and slapstick—but the more subtle humor is found in his clever wordplay. A prominent brain doctor being chased by a goose on a small island is a funny premise, but Wodehouse’s language has a charming wittiness that is unique. He’s a master of similes, for example: “He uttered a sound much like a bull dog swallowing a pork chop whose dimensions it has underestimated.” and “He looked haggard and careworn, like a Borgia who has suddenly remembered that he has forgotten to shove cyanide in the consumme, and the dinner-gong due any moment.”

Ickie and I were discussing what makes Wodehouse’s stories so enjoyable the other night. He said “he never lets you take anything seriously.” I said they have an “ordinariness” about them, but they never seem ordinary. It’s hard to explain, so you’ll just have to read them for yourself.

Douglas Adams, author of The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, wrote an excellent short essay on Wodehouse’s masterful humor, which you'll find in this book. Hugh Laurie also wrote a funny article titled “Wodehouse Saved my Life.”

While intentionally light-hearted, Wodehouse’s depictions of humanity are true and relatable, and that’s part of what makes them not only humorous but also winsome. There is a particular scene in Piccadilly Jim that Ickie and I think echoes our own attraction to each other.

[Jim says to the hot-tempered Ann:] "To a girl with your ardent nature some one with whom you can quarrel is an absolute necessity of life. You and I are affinities. Ours will be an ideally happy marriage. You would be miserable if you had to go through life with a human doormat with 'Welcome' written on him. You want some one made of sterner stuff. You want, as it were, a sparring-partner, some one with whom you can quarrel happily with the certain knowledge that he will not curl up in a ball for you to kick, but will be there with the return wallop. I may have my faults…" He paused expectantly. Ann remained silent. "No, no!" he went on. "But I am such a man. Brisk give-and-take is the foundation of the happy marriage. Do you remember that beautiful line of Tennyson's—'We fell out, my wife and I'? It always conjures up for me a vision of wonderful domestic happiness. I seem to see us in our old age, you on one side of the radiator, I on the other, warming our old limbs and thinking up snappy stuff to hand to each other—sweethearts still! If I were to go out of your life now, you would be miserable. You would have nobody to quarrel with. You would be in the position of the female jaguar of the Indian jungle, who, as you doubtless know, expresses her affection for her mate by biting him shrewdly in the fleshy part of the leg, if she should snap sideways one day and find nothing there."

A few of my favorite Wodehouse titles: Piccadilly Jim, Hot Water, A Damsel in Distress, Something Fresh, Uncle Fred in the Springtime, Cocktail Time, Uncle Dynamite, The Inimitable Jeeves, The Mating Season, The Cat-Nappers

The Letter Game

Last night I finished Sorcery and Cecelia or the Enchanted Chocolate Pot, and I enjoyed it so much that I was positively giddy. I was even more thrilled when I read in the afterword that the two authors (Wrede and Stevermer) created the manuscript by the Letter Game. They picked a setting and assumed two different characters, writing to each other in the guise of those characters. They never discussed plot with each other and their story continued to progress until the letters were maddeningly frantic and they wrapped it all up into a gratifying conclusion. Then they looked at the stack of paper and said “I think we’ve the makings of a book here,” made some minor touchups, and got the thing published. Oh my goodness, it’s just so fun.

I love the characters, Cecelia and Kate—two young ladies who are clever, witty, strong-willed, and inventive. They are just slightly scandalous for the time period, which makes their adventures that much more entertaining. I strongly relate to them—the sort of girls who are less elegant than their peers and receive less attention from the boys, but who have smarts and personality to make up for it and who are eventually appreciated by two intriguing young men.

I do find the title of the first book problematic insofar as Kate is just as important as Cecelia in the plot, so I’m not sure why they would have used only Cecy’s name in the title (unless they just liked the sound of it—“Sorcery and Cecelia” does have a pleasing effect).

Today I’m going to begin the second book in the series, The Grand Tour, even though my sisters-in-law tell me it’s not quite as good. According to them, the third is much better. This seems to be a trend with what I’m reading lately.

Hams and Shanties

I know that pirates are popular nowadays. Ever since the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie, costume shops have sold out of eye patches every Halloween (I know this from personal experience). But, my friends, I am not just a slave to trends. Long before pirates were in vogue, my little sister and I were bellowing “ARRRR!” with gritted teeth and junior swashbuckling with her Playmobile pirate ship (the coolest toy ever). I have developed a reputation as “The Dread Pirate Watoosa,” of which I am very proud, even though I lack tattoos and scurvy.

Imagine my excitement when Ickie discovered the silliest books ever written about pirates. We read them out loud to each other amidst cramp-inducing spasms of laughter. Author Gideon Defoe claims to have written his first, The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists, in an ill-fated attempt to convince a girl to fall in love with him. The books are Monty Python-esque nonsense, and the pirates argue about ham cooking methods and who gets to ride shotgun in the boat and don’t appear to know much about sailing. Most of the pirates don’t have names and are referred to as “the pirate with the hook for a hand,” “the sassy pirate,” “the pirate who used to be a lawyer,” and “the pirate with a nut allergy.” In addition, Defoe includes comical caricatures of historic and literary figures like Darwin, Ahab, and Marx (among others).

The second book, The Pirates! In an Adventure with Ahab, is slightly less funny than the first, although it features a memorable scene with an albatross. The third book, The Pirates! In an Adventure with Communists, is as hysterical as the first, featuring a chase scene with live bears in a Wagnerian opera and a hilariously insane Nietzsche.

For a bonus, check out Gideon Defoe’s website titled “important work I am doing re: pie-charts,” designed to prevent you from getting in trouble if you’re reading it at the office. Click on “Books” on his sidebar to read some excerpts.

Also Recommended: The Pyrates by George MacDonald Fraser. It’s a more verbose, but similarly ridiculous and anachronistic.

Jackamo's Tea Tips

(This blog post has been contributed by Jackamo, owner of the Sophisticated Tea Corner in the margin.)

It grieves me to the very marrow of my bones when I hear someone say that they don't like hot tea because it tastes too bitter. Actually, there is never a reasonable or acceptable reason to not like hot tea, but the bitter thing is a particular pet peeve. Let us not blame the nectar-like gift of the tea leaf for our inability to figure out how to properly brew a cup of tea. Brewing a perfect cup of tea is an art, but even the simplest of Lipton Drinkers out there can be taught!

• How long to steep depends on how strong you like your tea and the type of tea you're preparing. However, there are rules of thumb. Usually black tea leaves need to steep 3-5 minutes. They will often get bitter if you let them brew more than 6 minutes. Green teas often need only 1 minute, but if that isn't strong enough, some blends can steep 2-3 minutes. Oolongs should steep 2-3 minutes, and herbals can steep for 5-10 minutes.
• Small leaves brew more quickly and are usually ready in 2-3 minutes. Medium leaves in 3-5 minutes; large leaves in 6.
• Don't judge by color. Some teas brew light while others brew dark.
• Tea bags steep more quickly because the leaves are finely cut, so don't let them steep too long.
• If you have used an infuser or tea bags, remove them from the pot when the tea has reached the desired strength.
• If you place loose leaves directly into the teapot, you may want to pour the tea into a second warmed pot through a strainer to separate the tea from the leaves to prevent the tea from becoming bitter, or if you plan to pour all the tea into cups soon, simply place a strainer over the cup and pour slowly from the original pot.

If you're a teabag user and you still feel like you will not be able to steep your tea the appropriate amount, make the sacrifice and invest in a teaboy. You set the teaboy's timer to the correct steep time, and when the time is up, the teaboy lifts your teabag out. Signals sells one here.

Looking Forward

I just returned from a family visit with plenty of new recommendations and a few lenders from my bookish sisters-in-law. On my wretched journey home (during which my flights were canceled and rescheduled multiple times over the course of several days in multiple airports), I finished reading the fourth Otori book, The Harsh Cry of the Heron. It was a rather depressing conclusion to an ingenious series, but still very much worth the read. A prequel is rumored to be published soon.

With holiday activity winding down and some bookstore gift cards in wallet, I’ve got the makings of a list for my greedy reader’s eyes. Here are some things I’m looking forward to reading this year:

1. Harry Potter Book 7. It goes without saying that I’ll have to set aside two days in July to do nothing but read. Hopefully I won’t cry as pathetically as I did for Book 6.
2. Lady Friday, the latest in the Keys to the Kingdom series by G. Nix. It’s nearly as good as his Abhorsen series (intended for older readers) and abounds in Catholic imagery.
3. Dante’s Purgatorio and Paradiso. After Ickie had a graduate course on The Divine Comedy and came home sharing bits with the envious me, I read Inferno. It’s a fascinating look into the medieval mind, and I have been intending to read the other two. I’m not a fan of epic poetry, but a good translation makes it very accessible.
4. Sorcery and Cecelia or The Enchanted Chocolate Pot, The Grand Tour, and The Mislaid Magician by P. Wrede and C. Stevermer. Okay, if you don’t want to read a book featuring an enchanted chocolate pot, you are dead to me. I’m currently reading the first, formatted as correspondence between “two young ladies of quality.” It’s Jane Austen meets Harry Potter. I’ve lifted a new favorite phrase from it: “It was the outside of enough!”
5. Never Let Me Go by K. Ishiguro. By the author of The Remains of the Day, this features a dystopian boarding school in England. I’m afraid it’ll be a bit sad, which is the only reason I haven’t read it yet.
6. Special Topics in Calamity Physics by M. Pessl. The reviews are great and the chapters are formatted like the syllabus for a literature class.
7. The Audrey Maturin series by P. O’Brian. Blakbuzzrd is giving me a guilt trip for praising Hornblower, not yet having read these.
8. More by Wodehouse—oh, always more by Wodehouse. When life is not going right, there’s nothing like Wodehouse to make it all seem funny and unimportant.
   

Now if only Jasper Fforde was releasing a new Thursday Next novel this year….